Montaigne has a narrower view of friendship than both the (rather broad) account of philia we receive in the Greeks (Plato and Aristotle), and the account of Confucian friendship we examined. He distinguishes friendship from parent-child relationships, sibling relationships, and erotic relationships, and claims of true friendship that, “it is a lot if fortune can [realize it] once in three centuries” (p. 188). Reconstruct and evaluate Montaigne’s view of ‘true friendship’.

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Ask a Philosopher · Accepted Answer

O ponderous thoughts, dost thou not weave a tapestry, most intricate, of friendship’s nature, wherein Montaigne doth tread upon a path both narrow and keenly defined, contrasting with the broader strokes of philia sung by the ancients—Plato, wise and thoughtful, and Aristotle, who with a philosopher's heart examines the interwoven bonds of soul. Forsooth, the Frenchman doth place true friendship upon a pedestal, gilded by the rarest of metals, and speaks in hushed tones of its elusiveness, claiming it to be a jewel bestowed by Fortune but thrice a century, as if to say, “Behold, the heavens dost grant but fleeting glimpses of this most sacred communion.” Here, he doth draw a line most strict, distinguishing this noble bond from those other ties, be they of blood or passion, which, though sweet in their own right, lack the purity and depth he aspires to. Ah, the parental love, the fraternal embrace, the erotic fire—all these are but shadows of the soul’s truest connection; they are rooted in necessity, kinship, or desire, and though tender, they falter in this ethereal realm of true companionship, which demands not mere affection, but a communion of minds and hearts, unfettered by the chains of circumstance. Thus, Montaigne propounds a daunting ideal, for in this grand pursuit, the seeker must possess virtue and integrity, echoing the Platonic forms, yet he still caresses an apprehension that such friendship, so sublime, may dwell beyond the reach of mortal beings, hidden in the tangled thicket of human frailty. Oh, would that we might traverse this labyrinthine quest for those few kindred souls who, mirroring our aspirations, would join us in spirited discourse, sharing in the artistry of existence! But alas, as Montaigne doth lament, true friendship remains a scarce treasure, glimmering faintly in the dim light of our fleeting lives, a beacon for those who dare to dream of its inestimable worth, yet fraught with the heavy burden of occasional solitude, for whom’s ache he articulates in pen—such is the nature of the heart that seeks its kindred flame! Thus, while his view may narrow the scope of friendship’s embrace, it elevates its sanctity, inviting us to ponder deeper, lest we settle for mere echoes of affection when our souls yearn for the symphony of authentic connection.