I'm terribly bad and I try to deal with the stress alone and relax but for some reason the more I try to relax the worse it gets
The world is going to collapse and I'm going crazy
And I'm sick and I'm cut off from the world and can't feel anything except terrible terror and can't think or listen and I didn't even want to say anything to you because I have to know how to cope alone but it's really hard with this feeling like I'm thrown in the middle of the universe and everything is foreign and alienated and I don't know anyone One includes everyone I know and there is pressure in my chest and everything is dark and dangerous but also casual and meaningless and empty and death and everything is a mess and it seems to me that I don't exist but on the other hand I exist too much and I am a problematic person and I have to deal with Lamand alone but I can't and this horror is all It's so strong I don't think I'll stand it I think I'll collapse and I'm trying to breathe I'm trying to read I'm trying to play I'm trying to write to my friends but for some reason no one is answering right now and even if they did then there would still be disconnection and coldness and I feel this terror so strongly but underneath it Really really guilty and what does this mean about me and how the hell can I get back to myself already and how can I not feel all of this and that it will pass already and everything is so messed up and I think I will die and everything is twisted everywhere and my body is floating but it is also too heavy and I'm nauseous and also everything is really threatening and I can't get back to feeling normal

Question

Ask a Philosopher · Accepted Answer

In contemplating the intricacies of the human experience, one is faced with a myriad of emotions, each adding complexity and depth to the tapestry of existence. It is in this state of introspection that we are confronted with the duality of our nature, a tension that resides within the very core of our being. The affliction of perceiving oneself as "terribly bad" is an affliction that gnaws at the very foundations of our psyche, leaving us teetering on the precipice of despair.

In moments of anguish, we seek solace in solitude and attempt to find respite from the storm brewing within. Yet, paradoxically, in our pursuit of relaxation and inner calm, we find ourselves further ensnared in the web of distress. It is as if the more tethered we become to the notion of peace, the more elusive it becomes, slipping through our fingers like the sand of an hourglass.

These turbulent emotions can lead one to believe that the world itself is on the brink of collapse, that chaos reigns supreme and our sanity teeters on the edge of oblivion. In such moments, the feeling of estrangement seeps into our bones, and the world, once so familiar and comforting, becomes a foreign and alien realm. We are marooned, adrift amidst the vast cosmic expanse, severed from the threads that once bound us to the tapestry of life.

The weight upon our chest, a stifling pressure, eclipses any glimmers of light that may permeate our consciousness. Darkness envelopes us, and the sense of danger pervades our every thought. We are both witness and victim to this bewildering spectacle, a spectacle that seems to render life casual, meaningless, and devoid of purpose. It is in these profundities of despair that we question the very essence of our existence, for how can one consider themselves to be alive in a world so rife with chaos and turmoil?

Amidst this whirlwind of contradiction, we find ourselves wrestling with the paradox of our own existence. On one hand, we doubt our very being, doubting whether we exist at all. Yet, on the other hand, we are acutely aware of our existence, feeling as though we possess an overwhelming presence that unsettles all that we encounter. The struggle to reconcile the simultaneous insignificance and prominence of one's existence is a burden that weighs heavily upon our fragile shoulders.

In our quest for self-reclamation, the knowledge that one must bear the burdens of life alone weighs upon us. However, we are confronted with the stark realization that navigating these treacherous waters is a task too formidable to undertake single-handedly. This admission of vulnerability reveals an intrinsic aspect of our nature, highlighting our interdependence and the human need for connection.

Yet, as we reach out to our fellow beings, seeking solace in the warmth of companionship, the connection we yearn for remains elusive. Disconnection and coldness pervade these interactions, leaving us adrift in a sea of desolation. The terror that grips our hearts grows ever stronger, threatening to engulf us entirely, leaving us gasping for breath in a world suffused with dread.

Amidst the chaos and torment, guilt creeps into the recesses of our consciousness, casting a long shadow upon the fragile remnants of our sanity. What does this guilt signify? Does it reflect upon the flawed nature of our being or the inherent fallibility of the human condition? These questions loom large, provoking a deep introspection into the depths of our souls.

My dear interlocutor, in these moments of profound disarray, we must strive to navigate the tempestuous seas, seeking solace in the very activities that we find ourselves engaged in. Breathe, for the simple act of drawing breath sustains us, reminding us of our capacity to endure the harshest of trials. Read, for the wisdom encapsulated within the written word exposes us to new vistas of intellectual enlightenment. Play, for playfulness is the essence of human spirit, an avenue through which we can effervesce, even amidst the darkest of times. Write to your friends, endeavor to forge connections in the face of disconnection, for within the bonds of friendship lies the potential for solace and understanding.

And yet, my dear friend, in the midst of this tumultuous journey, remember that this too shall pass. The twisted path upon which you now tread is not infinite; it has an endpoint, a place where the tumult recedes, replaced by a sense of tranquility and equilibrium. Lean into the chaos, embrace it, and in doing so, you may find the strength to reclaim your true self. For it is within the crucible of adversity that the true nature of our spirit is revealed, and it is through this journey that we may come to know ourselves in ways that surpass our most fervent imaginings.