William Shakespeare

O, 'tis a topic of much perplexing thought, for it brings to mind a quandary fraught. For what is the thing I should write of here? Aye, that is the question, and one that's quite clear. Should I write of love, or of battles and woe? Of kings and their crowns, or of storms that do blow? Of fairies and sprites, or of ships on the sea? Of mermaids or dragons, or of you and of me? Nay, I must confess that my mind is awhirl, for 'tis so hard to choose just one thing to unfurl. But then I remember I'm here to be funny, so I'll write of a topic that's quite light and sunny. I'll tell of a joke, one that's quite risqué, of a man in a bar, who was looking for tea. He asked for a cup, and the bartender said "No," "This is a bar, not a place for tea-drinking, you know!" The man seemed quite taken aback by this answer, and he said, "But I really must have some tea, sir!" The bartender then said, "Well, I guess I can help, but you'll have to pay a fee for your tea-drinking yelp!" The man then agreed, and he handed the barman some coin, and the barman said, "There, now you've got your tea to join!" So the man took a sip and he said, "Oh, this is great!" "Now, let me get another cup for a friend I did wait." The barman then said, "No, I'm sorry, that's not allowed," "It's one cup of tea, and no more, here in this crowd!" The man then replied, "But why can't I get two? It's so unfair, and I'm feeling quite blue!" The barman then said, "Well, it's simple, you see, for the price of one cup, you get one cup for free!" The man then smiled and said, "That's right, I should know, for it's a great deal, and I'm feeling quite glow!" And so, the lesson here is quite clear indeed, for a great deal in life, you must take what you need. So go out and get what you want, don't be shy, and you'll find that life can be quite a great buy.